Giving for the Sake of Giving

It is important to me that this blog is not the motivation for displaying Random Acts of Kindness (RAK's).  When I first started blogging about RAK's, I did okay for the first week.  But then something changed.  I felt like I was pressuring myself just so I could write about it.  That is definitely not my goal.  So I stopped blogging so that I could remain focused on the goal and that is just to give for the sake of giving.

About a day ago, I had a friend put a call out on Facebook to her friends for someone she knew was in need of food.  I can definitely say that I have experienced times like that and when she asked if anyone was willing to help I did not hesitate. 

I don't know her friend from Adam, but I was reminded of the scripture "Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?"  Just because I don't know her didn't mean I couldn't help in some way.  I'm grateful that God has put in a place where I could give to someone in need. 

Some things that can get in the way of giving to others is that its not convenient.  I had to go through cupboards and find a bag to put the food in and then transport it to my friend's home.  Oh gosh, I actually had to get up off the couch to do that!  Sometimes we make excuses of why we can't help but when you look closely, our excuses are feeble.

Something great happens when we give for the sake of giving.  Our spirits are lifted and in comes great joy!  All I can say is that if you want to experience such an abundance of joy, give like no one else.  It doesn't have to be monetary, a kind word, a hug, or a thoughtful gesture can all put a smile on someone's face.  I know if such things are given to me, I am grateful!

Know When to Hold Your Tongue

I thought I was doing a great service by inviting my sister over along with my 4 year old niece and my sister in law for dinner and decorating for Christmas.  Little did I know what was in store for me.  You see my niece started complaining that her tummy was hurting.  I didn't think much of it and neither did my sister.

So here I am in the kitchen making some homemade potato soup with shrimp, thank you Paula Deen, when my niece suddenly starts to throw up.  My sister hurried her into the bathroom but not before she got some vomit on the carpet.  Yes, I know this isn't the greatest subject to talk about, however, I have to confess that I wasn't feeling very gracious.  I could remember another time in my life when my eldest threw up in bed, in the middle of the night.  He was about the same age, 4 years old.  I wish I could tell you I had the patience of Job and that I was a loving and comforting Mom to him, but I wasn't.  To this day it is one thing that I regret but my son and I have come a long way and he has forgiven me, so lets move on. 

Although my initial response wasn't favorable when my niece was emptying her stomach, I thought back to that moment when my son was 4 and my heart just melted a little.  I then started to feel bad for her.  Okay, so what if it's on the carpet, it can be cleaned right?  The important thing is that I held my tongue so that my niece didn't feel worse about being sick. 

To many times we say things before we think without realizing what the consequences may be.  I'm glad that I was able to hold back from saying anything.  We enjoyed the rest of the evening decorating the tree while my niece ran to the bathroom twice more.  I could have hurt her little heart by saying something.  Instead the feeling of frustration passed and was replaced by concern.

Think about what your saying to your loved ones before you speak.  In the end you'll save yourself and the other person some grief over uttered words that cannot be taken back.  If you have a hard time holding back, bite your tongue until it bleeds, that always works for me.  Not to mention you'll be performing an act of kindness to the other person.

Mending Fences

It's no secret that my niece just had a baby girl.  I shared this a few days ago.  The thing is, my niece has a slight independent streak, something I can relate to which is probably why we get along so well.  I have worked hard to establish a relationship with my niece.  We text!  I guess if your dealing with young adults you have to learn their mode of communication and that is hers.  It is because of our texting that I feel I have become a figure of some sort, in her life.  I say of some sort because I'm hoping that is a good thing but hey, her perception is her reality so for her it may not be good!  In all seriousness, it is because we have grown close that I am able to ask her to do things that she wouldn't think about.

I spoke with my sister the other day and she was feeling left out of the equation.  She is a grandmother for the second time but for the "other" grandparents this is their first grandchild.  I guess my sister was feeling as if she was being pushed out of the way.  Make no mistake, just because this is the second grandchild of my sister's does not mean that she doesn't want to be a part of her granddaughter's life any less.

Today, as I was texting my niece to find out how she was doing, it occurred to me that maybe she keeps her distance from her Mom.  I know I do and being that we are a lot alike, I thought that perhaps this is just how she is.  Nevertheless, I thought I would broach the subject by extracting a promise from her and she responded!

As I was getting ready to say good night to her I asked her if she would make me a promise.  She said "ok, what?"  I asked her to please make an effort to visit her Mom more.  I told her that I noticed the last time I was there that she only came by the day of her baby shower.  I also told her that we were all waiting on pins and needles for this little bundle of joy to arrive and that her Mom was so excited about her arrival.  I asked my niece if she would promise me that she would visit with her Mom more often even if she had to ask her Mom to come pick her up.  She promised me that she would.

I would not have been in this position to ask had I not developed my relationship with my niece.  If that means sometimes carving out five minutes of my day just to send a text then that is what I will do and that is what you should do too.  Life is to short to spend time on things that don't matter that much.  Chasing the dream is okay, but it is the people in our lives that matter most.  We are limited with our time here on earth so make the most of spending those moments with the people you love.  I sure could have used and extra hour of sleep today, instead I chose to text my niece for a little while to find out how she was doing, how the baby was doing, how her fiance was doing.  But most of all it gave me the opportunity to ask my niece for something that will benefit my sister.  If there is one thing that I have learned the hard way, it is not to spend so much time dwelling on what I could have done; now is try to act on what I think God would want me to do.  He is always faithful.  Nurture those relationships that have been neglected, it only takes a little time each day.  If there is a way to mend those fences that have been broken, you can apply the same technique, make the time!  I am by no means an expert, but I do my best.

Give Thanks

A few months ago I heard from my niece via a text message.  Basically she sent me a text so that I would have her phone number.   I knew she was expecting and started asking her questions about her pregnancy.  Our conversations grew long (still via text) and I made sure to check up on her at least once a week.  I encouraged her to walk everyday because excercise does help when giving birth.   At least it did for me.   I could have gone on these last few months not even bothering to check on my niece,  but I felt compelled to.  In the course of these months I began to look forward to this baby coming into the world.   Little did I know how much of an impact she would make on all of us.

You see, my nephew died a year ago today.  He was hit by a car.  As a family, we were devastated.   How it hurts so bad to see someone you love go through so much pain (my sister).  What does this have to do with my great niece being born you ask?

My great niece's middle name was chosen in honor of my deceased nephew.   The family agreed she would be called by said middle name. 

Today was a day I was actually dreading.   Knowing that my sister would be reliving things wasn't a welcome thought.   I know God has seen my sister's pain and in all his awesomeness, he chose to help my sister and the rest of the family concentrate on something else today.   With God's help my great niece chose today to come into the world.   Do you think she made it into the world quickly?   No.  She took her sweet time and had us waiting on pins and needles most of the day!   We are all overjoyed!  As for myself,  I already feel a bond with this little girl that will last a lifetime. We give thanks to God above for giving us this special gift on a day that would have been miserable for us all.  With thoughts of my nephew smiling about his niece being born today, we celebrate this little life.

My point for today?  It only takes a few minutes out of your day to show people in our lives that we love them.   I felt like a second mom to my niece when my sister sent me a text at 2:20 a.m. because my niece had instructed her mom to make sure I knew she had gone into labor.  I grew my relationship with my niece by sending her texts a few times a week.  The fact that we have communicated regularly,  even if by text,  was enough to show my niece that I love and care for her as well as her child.   Give thanks to those you love.   Listen, be attentive to their needs, or just make a small amount of time for them.   You've heard that saying?  A little goes a long way.   I can attest that it sure does.

It's What I Do

For the record, just because 3 out of 5 of my blogs posts about RAK’s (Random Acts of Kindness) involve food doesn’t mean I have a problem.  Even if I did have a problem I don’t think I would admit it, in fact I would vehemently deny it.  Since today’s blog post also involves food, you can now say 4 out of 6 of my blog posts are about food.  I can’t help it, food is what I do.  Whether it is baking a cookie, or putting a casserole together; I throw the ingredients together and people just show up.  It gives new meaning to the words house pests... I mean guests.

 I invited two people over for dinner today.  One a single mom and the other mom is married but her husband works nights so she is usually home alone most evenings with her little girl. 

I wasn't sure what I would do for someone today.  I thought about it a little and came to the conclusion that any day that I don't have to cook is a good one.   Naturally I thought these girls would feel the same way.  I called them up and let me tell you, it did not take much persuasion on my part.  In fact I could barely utter the words "dinner" before they were at my front door.

All kidding aside it is nice to share a meal with friends.  For the most part we ate in silence.  I don't know if it was because I had a movie on or because they were so impressed with my culinary skills that words could not express what they were feeling. I'd like to think it was the latter so don't burst my bubble.

When dinner was over and the movie done I sent them home with some of the baked goods I made yesterday.  They were only to happy to take them home.  They practically ran out the door as if I was going to change my mind.  It was that or maybe they were starting to feel the effects of the broccoli.

Cooking a meal for someone is something I'm delighted to do. It is especially true when I have pests, I mean guests, who enjoy a break from the kitchen.  When was the last time you gave someone a break?  Either from their kids by babysitting, from the kitchen by preparing a meal or from cleaning by doing the housework for them. If you've not done any such thing maybe it's time. 

Love Thy Neighbor

I met my new neighbor this evening.   I hadn't planned on it; for the most part I pretty much keep to myself. However, when I woke up this morning I felt like baking today.   You see, I made the mistake of buying some handsoap from Bath and Body Works called Pumpkin Cupcake.  Now everytime I use it I want to bake.   This is to keep me from gnawing on my hands because the soap smells good enough to eat.  So if you see someone walking around smelling their hands its not some kind of disorder, its just that they may have bought the same soap.  Now, about my neighbor... I have never and I repeat, never, baked to welcome a neighbor to the neighborhood.  Its something I've thought about,  but never really followed through on.   Well, I came home and slaved away in the kitchen,  again, the handsoap made me do it.  Actually the credit really goes to the Almighty.  I try to get my day started by preparing ahead for a random act of kindnesd (RAK).  This morning I was pressed for time but really felt that I needed to welcome the new neighbor.   So that's what I did.   I baked my cookies and put them in a ziploc baggie.  It was a little late before I went over there but the lights were still on and I could hear people talking in the garage so I just knocked on the garage door.  She asked "who is it?" in a friendly enough voice.   I told her I was her neighbor and that I had brought her something.   She said "your kidding me."  I told her no and she opened the garage door.   She was so excited that I was amazed at how much joy cookies could bring someone.   She told me she loves it here and she's only been here a few days.   She introduced herself and words cannot really express what I was feeling at her enthusiasm.   She said she used to live next door to someone who baked for a living.   She talked non stop and then asked me questions too.  She said I was welcome to come over any time.  What she made me feel was gratitude for people and that just a simple deed, such as baking cookies for someone, can really mean a lot.  She hugged me before I left and I went back to my place with joy and some of her enthusiasm.   I could have gone on ignoring all my neighbors but now I think I'm more inclined to bake for all of them.   Baking takes very little effort for me because I love doing it, especially when I get encouragement from the handsoap.  Loving my neighbor was a bit harder because I kept thinking what if she doesn't like my cookies?  Had I given in and not taken her cookies I would have missed out on her happiness and the blessing of seeing her so joyful.

You've Got Mial

I was brushing my teeth this morning and started to think about my RAK (Random Act of Kindness) for the day.  I’m glad I didn’t have to go through the whole day wondering what I was going to do.  No I didn’t look into my crystal ball.  I just had God speak a name as I was thinking about today’s RAK and some movie tickets that I wasn’t going to use.  People everywhere have needs; we just have to pay attention.  I’ve known about a couple who have had some financial struggles.  Their budget is so tight that it squeaks.  I’m sure that really makes it difficult to have date nights and walk without everyone hearing you from a mile away.  Don’t get me wrong, you can have date nights without money but you have to get really creative.  No, this post isn’t about creative date nights; it is about giving to someone in need.  So my covert mission today was to mail these movie passes to this couple with a note.  I basically addressed the note to both of them and told them that God was thinking of them because he wanted me to send them these movie tickets.  I didn’t sign my name to it and I didn’t write my name in the return address.  As luck would have it, I had their address because of a bible study that was scheduled at their home a few months before.  I dropped the envelope in the mail slot and some couple will be receiving those passes soon.  I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn’t have to donate a limb.  I’m going to take this time to share of one moment in the past when someone helped me out, so I’m only looking back for a brief moment to give you a glimpse of what it feels like to be on the receiving end.  I had a friend of mine come up to me a number of years ago.  I was really struggling to raise my kids on my budget.  They needed socks and basic undergarments but it seemed as if my paycheck was gone to pay bills every week with very little left over.  My friend handed me a gift card to Wal Mart for $100.00.  Yes, you read that right; one hundred dollars.  She told me that it wasn’t from her, that someone had given it to her to give to me so that I could by the kids clothing or whatever they needed.  I was floored!  I asked her who had given her the gift card but she told me that the person wanted to remain anonymous.  I told her to please thank that person from the bottom of my heart.  I proceeded to take the kids to Wal Mart and bought them their undergarments and some clothing.  Receiving that gift card helped me tremendously at a time when I really needed help and my kids needed help.  Shortly after that (about 4 weeks later), I received another $100.00 gift card from someone else.  No it wasn’t raining gift cards that year, but this happened to me three times in a period of five months.  I thank God for those people that listened to God’s urging to bless me.  So before you tell yourself you don’t have time, or don’t have money or are worried about what you’re going to do about the problem that just landed at your doorstep, take a moment to step back, exhale... and just do it.  Bake those cookies to give to the new neighbor, wash the car for a single parent who has about 10 million other things to do, let the person in line behind you with one item, in front of you and your cart full of groceries or babysit for a couple who need a date night.  You’ve heard the saying it’s the little things that matter?  I can attest to the fact that when someone thought of me and my needs, it meant so much to me.  To that couple I sent those movie passes too... you’ve got mail.